For most of the summer, since I've been back in Charlotte, I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping. I don't know if it's the overwhelming sense of not having to do anything, or what. I don't mean to, but I stay up later and later every night, and wake up later and later every day. I have no idea what's wrong, and it seems that no matter what I do, I can't stop it.
It honestly started at the beginning of May when I made my "big" return. At school, the latest I went to sleep was probably around 2am. Lately, it hasn't been unusual for me to not fall asleep until 3:30 or 4. One day I was supposed to drive up to Greensboro with my friend. I had to be up at 8 that morning, but I hadn't gone to sleep but 4 hours before. I try to make myself tired by watching shows online, but I have an alarming attention span. I spent many of that day's wee hours watching old episodes of Ugly Betty on ABC.com.
But that's not the worst. It's gotten progressively more inconvenient since then. I've spent a few sleepless nights lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling. Maybe getting up to try to read or watch more shows, or play my piano. Nothing works definitively, but I end up drifting to sleep around 6am. A couple days last week, I didn't go to sleep until after the sun was rising and I heard the alarm clock in my parents' room.
But Monday/Tuesday, was my crowning achievement in insomnia. Monday was a typical day for me. I managed to drag my lazy ass out of bed around 1:30pm. I went through the day without much excitement. But then it came time to sleep. Unfortunately, I got distracted by some episodes of Dead Like Me on a website that has a bunch of links to television shows, cartoons, movies, documentaries, and other cool things. Starting around 1am (just under 12 hours of being awake), I found one of my favorite tv shows about grim reapers, and started watching. Before I knew it, it was 4am. I thought, "I should probably try to get some sleep." So I minimized my windows so I could watch later and went and lay in my bed.
Half an hour of staring sleeplessly at the ceiling, and I decided to give the show another try. I watched for a few more hours. I tried going to sleep again at 6am, but that didn't work either. I went for a couple more episodes. At 8:20, still having not slept since the day before, I emerged from my room to make myself some scrambled eggs. They were delicious.
So now it's 9am. I'm a little tired, but I can't fall asleep. I decided to try an experiment. I decided that maybe if I hold on for 24 hours of consciousness, then maybe I could take a nap in the afternoon and then be able to sleep at night. Well, after watching the last 3 or 4 episodes of Season 2 of Dead Like Me (I watched practically the entire second season that night), I decided to try my nap. At 1:30 or 2pm on Tuesday, I napped on the couch. I slept for 5.5 hours. I got up, ate a bit of dinner, watched some more TV and I thought I was set. I was in bed by 1 or 1:30am last night, and I thought, "eggs would be nice again at 8:30," and resolved to make it an early morning to get my rhythm back to sleeping and waking at decent hours.
The trouble is, I didn't wake up today until 2pm. I slept for over 12 straight hours. Fuck me. I guess my experiment didn't work out so well.
I'm going to try again for breakfast tomorrow (this) morning. I hope to be awake in 6.5 hours. Then maybe my whole day won't be a waste. We'll see, though...
(Sorry I write so much. I'll try to cut back.)
1 comment:
Man, that's insane. I know this is going to sound bad, but maybe you should drug yourself with some Tylenol PM early one night or something. OR stay up all night and the following day, like how people say you should cure jet lag. It's so hard to get up when you don't have to be anywhere. One summer, I decided I was going to wake up every morning at nine and do something productive. I think that lasted, like, a day.
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