Britney Spears, Part Deux

Alright, I'll admit it: Britney Spears brings me much joy in life.

She so stupid, my sides hurt.

In an attempt to make sure her baby Sean Preston is kept safe, she fired her nanny. She's very distraught over her son's falling on his head. She's been "in hiding and depressed" apparently because of this. As you can clearly tell by this picture (Caption: Britney Spears is still upset about Sean Preston's fall from the highchair.). Seriously, that is what the caption to this picture says. You would think they'd be able to find a more fitting picture, but it is Britney Spears we're talking about here... Anyway, so she's upset and depressed and all that good stuff, but wait; it gets better.

Good ol' Britney also hired a doctor to give her advice on how to keep her son safe from any more Spears-Federline household mishaps. He told her, and I'm quoting an insider quoted in a magazine here, "not to leave Preston on any high surfaces where he could roll off."

And she needed a doctor to tell her this.

Oh! And the best part? Britney was so impressed with the genius-level advice that she tried to hire him full time. Unfortunately for her, or rather, unfortunately for Little Preston, he told her this was not necessary.


Hahahahaholy crap! Oh, the tears streaming forth from my eyes! Britney, will you marry me and neglect my babies?

here's the link to the original story

Britney Spears' Wurds of Wizdum

"Anyone can sit down and write a boring, artistic song. Pop music is the hardest shit to write." -- BRITNEY SPEARS

Sometimes I read about things that everyone's favorite pop-whore-princess says or does, and I wonder how my head doesn't explode. This little quote has been a joy in three different ways since I read it the other day in a subscriber's email from Rolling Stone:

1) Oh yeah, Britney, pop music is hard. Kinda like adding 2 and 2 is hard. And what are you talking about anyway? You don't write the song yourself anyway.

2) Holy shit, I think Whorey Whorey Whore Whore has a point. Pop music probably is hard as anything to write, because you have to make sure that it appeals to not only mindless Pseudo-OC drones dressed like Paris Hilton who attend the country's many elementary, middle, and high schools (not to mention the higher education establishments they're accepted to because of Daddy's money), but ALSO hopefully attract the attention of the people in this world who actually have individual identities and matured tastes in music. At least, that's the goal.

3) Hahahaha! She just said that the music she does isn't artistic. Because apparently anyone can write something that's artistic, but it takes a special level of mental retardation to create slop that's popular with the masses. She basically just said that everyone in the world who likes Pop music is uncultured. Bahaha. Way to insult your fans, Child Neglecter.

I admit, I'm a little disturbed by the fact that something Britney Spears said has held my attention for a little over a day, but you have to admit that it was a pretty good quote. She called herself a hack.

And that's priceless.

Music Reporting and Devil-Horns

Okay, so I told you it was going to happen, but I completely forgot to tell you how it went. The day finally came to go to my "Covering the Music Scene" seminar. Yipee! Oh, man. It was so much fun! I met Chuck! I love Chuck (even though he reminds me of my ex-boyfriend... in so many ways, but we'll forgive him for that because he's so damn funny). And there were other reporters there too like Jim Farber, Lola Ogunnaike, Elysa Gardner and Alan Light, but let's face it: my deciding factor was Chuck Klosterman. Because... well because if you get down to the bare bones of it, I have an addictive personality, and thus I love being the groupie.

ANYWAY, so I learned alot from those 5 folks. How do you end up in the music reporting industry? You have to work for it. Sometimes you just "end up" there, but you have to go out on a limb and believe in yourself as a writer (though this kinda applies to all kinds of reporters). What's the difference between magazines and newspapers? Elysa said: With magazines you have more freedom and more space, and can therefore be more self-indulgent (that's my kind of writing! hehe). But you have to rememeber that the subject is going to be the interest of the reader, not the writer. Chuck said: With newspapers you can't swear and there are certain parameters that you have to follow. But, if you follow these rules you can basically write about anything you want. With a magazine you have more freedom, but you also get edited a lot more. Plus you always have to be conscious of the "voice" of the magazine.

Also, you have to suck up in magazines. You can't tear celebrities new ones. Damn, that would be fun. They also talked about the internet and blogs and such. That was really interesting. They were talking about how now that everyone envisions themselves reporters (haha, as i type my blog...) the value of writing really goes down. The expectations of writing also goes down. These online types also lose perspective with respect to what's good. Just because it's new, doesn't mean it's good. And that's what online people are obessed with: getting it first.

So, what I basically learned from these 5 great people, is that you have to talk about what music means, not what it sounds like (except in a general sense, says Chuck). You're not there to tell people what's good or bad; you're there to tell them what it means in the scheme of things, how it affects you, what it means personally. Because even thought people don't know you, they respond to first person accounts... because it makes them thing "oh yeah... wow.... i feel the same way about this album by this person."

I am so stoked. I love first person writing! Oh and before I forget:
I talked to Grizzly Adams... I mean Chuck... after the seminar :D. He was a super cool guy. I'm in love... haha not really... but he's a cool dude. And we have similar glasses.

Also, as I was heading back to the subway, I spotted this gem. It was too cool not to take a picture.

Cold Medicine + British Children's Shows = Hilarity!

So every once in a while something reminds me of things that I've done in my childhood. I enjoy these stories, and I thought maybe I'd share a few with you. Here is one that amused Breanne greatly today, haha. I love this story too. It makes me giggle:

Have you ever been so sick that you start to imagine things? Have you ever been so sick that you were delusional? Oh yeah, that's the best kind of sick. Once when I was about 14 or 15 I got so sick for no reason. There was no cause for my illness, but I was burning up, but I was freezing cold. In the middle of July. I was so sick. And because I was so sick, I thought I was going to die. I got it in my head that my fever was going to kill me. I was so scared I was crying; I was positive it was going to happen. Funny how that happens.

But this story isn't about that day (but related, so i threw that one in here). This story happened a couple years before. I was 12 or 13, and in 7th grade, if I remember correctly. One morning I woke up and I had some other mysterious illness. I had a fever. I was coughing, I was light-headed. I was SICK. I was delirious. So I took some cough medicine and laid in my inflatable bed, which is really hard to lay on when you're sick b/c 1) the sheets always slide off, so you're contstantly having to get off and readjust and 2) it makes plastic rubbing noises, and that's annoying as hell even if you're not sick. But so it was bad because being annoyed and sick is not cool. But it was okay because I had my television. TV is awesome when you're sick. Especially when you're delirious.

The Teletubbies have never been funnier.

So there I was, at like 10:30 in the morning. I was flipping channels, all hopped up on like nyquil or something. I found PBS; the Teletubbies were on. I stopped to watch. The yellow one and the red one were on opposite sides of a brick wall that couldn't have been bigger than 3 feet wide and like 5 feet tall. They were on opposite sides of the wall.... and they couldn't find each other!

I have never laughed harder. "She's on the other side!" I yelled at the yellow one. "Hehehehe! No, the other way!" I giggled. "No, Laa Laa, you stay there! Po, she's on the other side! Just walk around! Hehehehehe!" I said.

I was trying to help them find each other, because for some reason I thought they could hear me, kinda like how the little kids yell at Blues Clues (which by the way, i'm 90% sure that I saw Steve in NYC yesterday... he was going into a pizzeria in Chelsea, hehe) or Dora the Explorer. Seeing those two try to find each other on opposite sides of a 3 foot wide brick wall was HILARIOUS. I love that show...

And I love being delirious! Haha...

Follow the Finger..... do it... do it now....

Found this while Breanne and I were walking down Madison yesterday. I had to stop and take a picture. I love finding things like this.



Apparently it's an ad for Butterfinger. But still, how funny would it be if that phone rang and you answered it and spoke gibberish? That'd be awesome.