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Friday, January 13, 2006

Random Things

I guess I don't like to be away from blogging for too long, just in case someone is actually really this (which doesn't really seem to be happening much, but who knows?). Plus, it keeps me semi-sane... Which is probably also the reason that I have a bajillion journals, each for specific topics or types of entries. I like to stay organized, I guess. I have one for dreams, and I have one for writing down things that happen to me that give me any extreme of emotion (i.e., elation, anger, depression, etc.). This one, well this one is for things that I do, or see, or whatever. But I've already explained that in my subtitle thingy. I'm babbling.

Anyway, yeah. The last entry I made was all about the music that I purchased last year. There's a lot of good stuff on there. For example, I'm still reeling from the purchase of Duncan Sheik, Duncan Sheik. I'm in freaking love with it. I'm also in love with another Duncan album, Humming, but I bought that one earlier this year so it wasn't on the list. I'm gonna try to go to his show in NYC in February. It's so exciting (but also on the same night as a Bain Mattox show in the city. Tough decision...). But I think I finally decided on Duncan Sheik. I've never seen him before. Plus, I'm in love with him. Haha.

In other news, I had this really bizarre dream two nights ago. I was at this camp or something and there were a lot of people there, mostly kids and only a couple adults. I was a kid in the dream, but one of the older kids. There were also a lot of babies, and I found myself spending more time with the babies than with the kids my own age. I don't think I liked the other kids my age. But, at one point I joined a game or something of a bunch of people in a tiny room. We were all just sort of hanging around, but then suddenly there was this great commotion and everyone stood up. But then I guess everything was alright, because everyone went to sit down again. I was sitting at a table just sort of staring at it, not paying any attention to anyone, when suddenly I realized that no one was in the room except for me and this other kid. Where the hell did everyone go? We decided to go outside, and when we walked out the door of the room, everyone was standing around the door, waiting for us. Then they started pointing and laughing and calling us stupid because we hadn't realized that they left the room. I started crying and yelling at them that I wasn't stupid and that they were the assholes for making fun of us. And then I ran off (real mature...) and was kinda trying to hide from everyone. I was much more comfortable either by myself or with the babies... people who couldn't/wouldn't judge me.

It was like an awful flashback that never actually happened. But I was suddenly 10 years old again. Please fucking excuse me for being introspective and thoughtful and having the mental maturity of an 18-year-old. I was ten years old when I became tired of drama.

Can you believe I was actually yelled at by a kid my age (around 8 or so) for thinking too much?? I fucking hate dreams like that...

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