Post-vacay depression or PMS? Hard to tell.

But either way, I am about three false moves away from digging my thumbs into someone's neck and strangling the life out of them.

I hate being this kind of blogger: the one who only writes when she's depressed, which is a lot of the time (hey, maybe I have depression. What a novel idea!). I've played this game before, and when I go back and read what I've written, it's not a fun game to play. And it's probably not fun for anyone reading this. But, sometimes you have to get it out.

• I'm pretty sure my roommates are trying to edge me out of the apartment. Not overtly. It's very passive aggressive. And it's totally possible that I'm just paranoid. When our other girl roommate moved out, I moved my mini fridge and microwave from my bedroom to the empty bedroom so that I could actually get some floor space in the one room in the apartment that I actually spent time in. I told the existing roommate that I was going to try to move it to the attic, if her boyfriend, who was to become our new roommate would help me, what with his being a guy and me being too weak to bring the fridge up there myself. We all forgot about it, and  they sat in the empty room which became their wardrobe/his office. Yesterday he informed me that he was going to check with his firefighter friend to check to see if the beams in the attic would support the 1.7 cubic feet refrigerator. Last night they woke me up at 10:30 whilst speaking loudly with said firefighter friend about how the beams would not support it (wtf kind of beams are these? This house is going to crumble to the ground someday, isn't it?) and that even if they did, you can't keep a fridge up there in sub-freezing temperatures... for reasons they did not disclose (and I have never heard). So they probably put the fridge and microwave in the garage. I say probably because despite the fact that they were both home when I wandered in today at 5:30, neither one of them has said anything to me about it. But I did see what they put in the room in the fridge's place: a bookcase filled with teddy bears. Yes, you read that correctly.


• I do not understand men at all. I've had enough confusing encounters in the last two weeks with as many guys to last me a long time. To make matters worse, I've had Adele's "Someone Like You" stuck in my head all day long. Their brains are like a fucking labyrinth, and I'm the mouse, but there's only the prospect of cheese at the end. Who the fuck knows what's going to happen. ALSO? I am watching "He's Just Not That Into You" (I didn't put it on; it just happened to be on) and I may or may not have just cried at the following exchange:

Girl: So what am I supposed to do? Run from every guy who doesn't like me?
Guy: Yes.
Girl: But then there'll be no one left.
Me: UGH *tears*

Hint: This is all true.

• I applied to a job a few weeks ago, and I have been desperately waiting to hear something. I sent a follow up about a week and a half ago before I went on vacation and was told that she was just getting ready to send an update email. Then I got another email a few minutes later sent to everyone who applied saying that they had more applicants than expected, and that they were still working on going through the applications and making a shortlist, and that they'd get us more information before the holidays. So far nothing, and I am going crazy, and I think I pinned all my hopes and dreams on the outcome, and I'm trying really hard to prepare myself for disappointment, just like everything else in my life, and it's starting to really suck. But I don't want to give up yet. I really want this. I'm going to go as far as saying that I really NEED this. I need this to work out. I need this all to happen. I deserve this. I would be GREAT at this. I am going to hear good news. I am going to hear good news. I am going to hear good news. 

I'm glad I have some vacation days left this year. I think I'm just going to stay in my room for the next 5 days and read a cheesy YA novel, preferably with a cute, swoonworthy boy, and not surface again until Tuesday or if I absolutely have to go to the grocery store, whichever comes first. Maybe I'll go right now so I don't even run the risk over the next couple of days.