There are 13 days left of NaNoWriMo, and I'm about 2k word shy of 30k. That means I have to write the remaining 22k in two weeks. This isn't unheard of. In fact, I think that's about on par. But, it just seems a little daunting when you put it like that. I can do it, though. I WILL do it.
Unfortunately, 2009 was another shit year for my NaNo. My plot is falling apart. My characters are constantly changing, though, I suppose that's not a bad thing. They're just not turning out as I had originally planned. For example, my main character Nina was supposed to become obsessed with a musician, and have to endure a mentally crushing blow when she finds out that he's actually dead, subsequently becoming even more obsessed with him as time goes on, falling deeper and deeper into an imaginary world to cope with her outside problems. I still think this is a fascinating idea, but she just isn't cooperating with me! I've tried, but she's just not obsessed. I can't force it on her. She likes him; that's for sure. But she just doesn't like him enough. Now, 28k into the novel, she's found out he's dead, and it's upsetting, but she's not crushed. I think it's because she developed another problem I didn't foresee when I started.
You see, dear reader(s), Nina is... well, I don't want to give it away. She's having to deal with things she had dreamed of having to deal with. It's tearing her apart, and sort of making her create this false facade, constantly distracting herself so she doesn't have to think or deal with it. I suppose she's sort of doing what I had intended her, just not with the intended object. Nina is all over the place, kind of. She's starting to deal with the situation, and you, as a reader, think she is, but she's not. We'll get to that in the next 22k.
My other character, though, is right on schedule. Willem is being a good boy, and is doing everything I had planned for him, except for speaking a foreign language. Willem is a teacher, so he was supposed to put phrases and words here and there because said language has become second nature to him. I've been able to put a few in there, but if I want to make my word count goals, I can't distract myself too much with translating and conjugating. I decided they'll have to go in there during National Novel Editing Month. *Sigh*
Other than the characters, I also feel like my plot is falling apart. One of my chronic issues is details and minutiae. I write too many and concentrate on them for so long, sometimes I forget to forward the plot with them. I linger. I suppose part of the problem could be my inability to let go. Maybe I don't want my characters' story to be done. I think this is why I have such a hard time with endings. Endings kill me. But I also have a hard time knowing when enough is enough, and it's time to move the story along. Like, I feel that Willem and Nina's story/ies should be much further along than what they are at 28k.
Ah, well. I guess the point isn't to make it great, but to get it down, right? I hope I can write more at lunch today. Maybe I'll be able to get back on track.
Wish me luck!
christina
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