Wow, it's been 16 days since I had that dream. It feels like so much longer ago. Whatever it meant, I guess it's either not come true (which I good, I guess), or I'm not listening to it (which could be bad). I mean, nothing has changed. So I guess I'm in this sort of stasis, balancing delicately between potentially bad and potentially good. I guess it's an alright place to be until a mind (any mind) is made up.
That said, let's change topics. I have become ridiculously obsessed with HBO's True Blood. It's a sickness. I'm pretty sure I now eat, sleep, breathe and even bathe in True Blood. That sounds gross, but it's an effective metaphor. I'm not sure what it is, the "real" characters, the passion, the vampires, the actors. Something about it is drawing me to it like a moth to light. The pull was pretty bad last season when it first aired. That's when it first became my drug of choice. I would take my first hit on Sunday at 9pm, then another at 12am, then at least one a day until the next new episode on the next Sunday. But that was the extent of my addiction last year. I waited eagerly for each new episode and once it was presented to me, devoured it heartily. But that was it.
Season 2 is a whole new monster, though. Before it even started, I decided (whether good or bad) to read all the books on which the characters and show are based. The first season was based on the first book in the series, the second season on the second. Presumably the third season will be based on the third book, but we'll have to wait for that. But I decided that I would allow myself to get ahead of my drug, and just read all of the books. I read 9 books in about 25ish days. I can't remember the exact count. That is incredibly fast for me. I was chowing down a book in 1-3 days each. I read one and I needed to know what happened. This need pushed me through each book, desperate for the next literary fix. I suppose this was my fatal flaw: the need. Because once all 9 books had been put away, I had nothing.
Or did I? I actually finished reading the books after the second season started, if memory serves (it was, after all, 11 weeks ago. I'm allowed to be hazy). Something was different this year though, once the show started. I had just moved to a new apartment about 2 weeks before the start of the season. After making sure we had HBO, I invested in an DVR. Let me tell you, this is a God-send. I don't know how I existed before my DVR. Now I was able to record my drug and watch later if I wasn't able to watch it in real-time. But the DVR also just contributed to the sickness. Instead of having to catch the episodes on linear airings on the various incarnations of HBO, now I had True Blood at my fingertips. All I had to do was hit that DVR button. And so, I watched on Sunday, at least once on Monday (more if I caught a linear airing), once on Tuesday (more if I caught a linear airing), once on Wednesday (more if I caught a linear airing)... I think you get the picture. So now, suddenly, I'm devouring my drug in a much heavier dose.
Any minute I expect to overdose, but the monster just keeps growing. I can't get enough. And its effects are getting much stronger. Last year, I could sit comfortably on my couch, watching and emoting silently. This year, a few episodes have affected me to the point of much louder emoting and even physical reactions. A few times I have taken to spending the hour standing in front of the TV, too anxious to sit. One of those times, the episode even brought me to my knees, tears welling in my eyes (seconds before one of the characters fell to his knees, tears running down his face, I might add haha). It has become a part of me. I've even pre-ordered the soon-to-be-released TruBlood beverage -- the nutritious synthetic blood developed by Japanese scientists that can be consumed by vampires to satiate their thirst and biological needs. Of course mine will just be a blood-red orange flavored soda, but it's just a more physical way for it to become part of me, for me to own it.
But what I can't figure out is why? Why has this become so special for me? Why do I devote so much time, effort, and soon, money to this work of fiction? What about it affects me so strongly, to the core, that makes me behave this way? Is it the show itself? Or is it something about me? Or both? Maybe I'm drawn to it because I see so much of myself in the characters. Maybe, deep down, each and everyone of them is me. Do I actually live in Bon Temps?
(to be continued...)
(maybe...)
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