I had a really weird dream last night. I don't usually share my dreams here, electing to record my nighttime journeys in a journal, usually only for me to read, but the one I had last night seemed oddly worth sharing. Maybe because I have no clue what it could mean. The imagery, too, was shocking, and its implied metaphors have actually got me a little scared. Scared of what? Of God? Of healing? I'm not sure, because I'm not sure how that would apply to me. Maybe one of you can help.
The details of the dream are pretty muddled. Not sure how it started or what was going on. I was walking through some town, which I guess was South Orange, but instead looked more like a medieval European town that I am not familiar with. I was walking along. There were other people out on the sidewalks. I ducked down an alley to go another way. I think I must have been on my way to a bar. This seems to be the general feeling of the beginning of the dream. Then suddenly I am with 3 other people, all of whom are girls that I know in the dream, but now, upon waking, have no clue as to their identities. So we are walking behind this beautiful stone building. Turns out it is a private (Catholic?) school. It is built upon a lush, rolling green hill. This hill has scattered mini brick walls throughout. We are trying to make it up this hill, over and around these brick walls to make it to the street on the other side. Now, we know we are not supposed to be here; we are trespassing. But still we continue up and over these walls and the hill to get to our destination.
Then, suddenly lights are flashing and a siren screams. We've been spotted. Two of the girls are farther up the hill than I and the other girl had made it. They scramble to the top. We can't make it, however, because these mini walls are growing taller and taller, blocking us in, making it impossible to go over or around. So we turn back down the hill. There are walls growing there, but they are easier to bound over. The hill slopes sharply down, ending abruptly into a river some feet below us. Across the river, close, but too far to jump, is another piece of land. If only we can get over there! We scramble down the hill toward that piece of land. I am more concerned with getting myself there, but I never lose the feeling of this other girl being near me, trying to save herself as well. Then suddenly a piece of rock juts out from our side of the hill, out across the river, to connect with the other piece of land. This rock turns into a slide. Though frightened, I set my jaw, and re-determine myself to get to the other side. I let myself go and I slide.
I'm on the other side! I made it. The other girl is with me too. So, we're running along the green land, trying to find a way back to where we had come, but a giant stone wall, part of the school's facade perhaps, is standing in our way. From where we are on this little island, there is no way back. We are looking for a way out when suddently I find a tower, a castle turret, it seems. I fling open the door and pour myself inside onto the stone steps leading up, up, up. I begin to climb. The tower just keeps going up. Up and around, a spiral staircase hugging the walls of the cold, beige stone tower. I keep going up. There are little slit windows. I look out one, but I can't remember what I see. Suddenly, the stairs change direction. Instead of climbing the stairs with the wall to my right, suddenly the wall is to my left, but I am still climbing up, up, up.
Then, finally, I reach the top. There is a little wooden door. I open it, and beyond I see only blue sky and clouds. This is Heaven. God is out there, I know it. I turn to speak to the girl who had followed me up. "This is it," I said. "This is the way out. We have to jump." Up so high where nothing can be seen below, I peer out into the open blueness of "Heaven." Initially scared, I take a deep breath. Then, just like before, I let myself go, and I dive head-first out of the tower.
Now I'm falling, falling, falling. The clouds, the blue sky, all zooming past me, and yet I'm not scared, nor am I falling all that fast. In fact, it's more like I'm floating down softly, down to where I will be safe. Suddenly there are two more people by my side. One is a man and one is a woman, but I have no idea who they are. I'm still floating, but I'm no longer in the sky. I'm floating above my bed, my room lit dully with the gray of a barely waking sun. Then they are gone, and I am safe in my bed. In my dream, I am in my bed, and I am awake and safe.
I'm not really awake. I'm just "conscious" of the fact that I am awake in my dream. I sit up (and this is where the whole ooh Godly metaphor becomes completely ridiculous), and reach for my drink on the side table. It is a lime-flavored Zima (what?!?). I can taste it. It's fizzy and citrusy. Someone says something to me about it, but I don't know who it was or where they came from. I don't even see them. I laugh. And then suddenly I'm making out with someone, but I don't know who that was either. Josh Rouse? That doesn't feel right, but I think it kind of looked like him. Can't be sure. And then I woke up. For real this time.
I laughed at the Zima and the making out. But it wasn't until a few hours later that I suddenly got a flash of falling out of the God-Tower. What is that about? I'm in awe, and a little frightened. There was such a feeling of peace, immediately after my flash of fear. Almost like God telling me, it'll be okay. "Whatever it is you're scared of, let go. It will be okay..."
If only I knew what He was talking about...
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