Song Headaches suck :(

I'm really tired, but I can't sleep. I want to go to sleep. But I can't. I can't explain it either. All I have to do is turn off the light, and lie down quietly, and try to relax. But I know I won't be able to relax. And I'm not even sure what my problem is. It's not like I'm doing anything important. My mind is plagued, I guess.

I can't even tell you by what. I know... but I'm not going to tell you, haha. So I'm going to be cryptic: There's this song that I can't get out of my head. I sing it every day while watching tv, going out around town, whoring around on myspace. Even in weird situations where thinking about the song is not appropriate. I wish that I could get rid of this song-headache, but nothing seems to cure me. Maybe if I find another song, but I don't care about other songs. This song is my favorite. Even when I'm driving, i'm looking around at different cars wondering if they know my song too. If they've heard it before. If they are as obsessed with it as i am. I wish that I wasn't. It pisses me off, quite frankly. I tell myself not to think about the song, but I can't seem to forget it. It just keeps looping and looping in my head. I hear it on my iPod, and on my computer, and I wonder when the next time I'll get to hear it performed in person will be.

And yet, I wish that I could just stop thinking about this freaking song for one minute. For one day, I want to not have to go through the lyrics and the information I'm gleaning about its meaning. I want to be devoid of this song. I constantly tell myself that I'm a fool for thinking about it so much, and there's no reason for me to be, but I never seem to listen. I just laugh it off, and go back to thinking about it, to singing it, to wondering about it. Sometimes I think that I've over-analyzed it, over-analyzed my experiences with it. I'm a fool and I'm making up stories. I have to get a grip and find a new song. A song for my generation, as it were. But I haven't cared for these kinds of songs in so long. I live in the past (and sometimes in a past that I barely remember, if i've lived it at all). This particular song has been around for longer than I have, but I fell in some form of love with it from the first time I heard it about 4 or so years ago.

Slowly, over time and over multiple listens, I think I've fallen in love with it. Or at least with the version I understand. I KNOW there is more to it than I'm gathering, but it's hard to truly and fully understand without an explanation, without a guided tour, if you will. But you know what, dammit? I WANT a guided tour. I do. I want one. I want to be able to understand this song as fully as it's humanly possible to understand. It intrigues me so. And yet I know that I need to let it go.

But I don't want to. In case I DO finally get that guided tour....

And this is why I am left awake at 3am. What the hell is wrong with me??

[I know that was kind of confusing, but I suppose it makes sense to those whom it's supposed to make sense...]