Impending Withdrawal

I've finished all 8 of the Sookie Stackhouse books that are in my possession. I went online and found the first chapter of book #9, Dead and Gone. I feel like I'm on crack. I need more. I can't live without it! Haha. I don't know what I'm going to do once I do get my hands on the last book and finally finish it. There aren't any more after this one. I think I heard #10 should be out next year or something, but really? Next year? Next year! I don't know what I'm going to do.

Maybe I'll delve into some fiction of my own. Yeah... that sounds like a good idea. Maybe I'll start planning now, so that when I do finally come to the painful goodbye-for-now at the end of book #9, I'll have an idea of what to do with myself.

Heh. This shit's even more addictive than Twilight. And we all know how addictive that is.

In related news: Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are apparently dating. That's kind gross. I mean, she's kinda gross. She does have a certain nonchalance to her, which is appealing I guess. She made a bad decision with that mullet hairdo thing, though.

Okay, enough with the celebrity gossip. Gonna start my fiction planning while I eat lunch!

(Edit: I'm getting better at this whole posting more frequently thing! Right on!)

(Edit #2: I got my fix! Got my grubby hands on book #9. Withdrawal postponed... at least for a day. Though it may only be enough to hold me over a couple of hours. Eek!)

Let Them Eat Cate, and Other Vaguely Amusing Typos

I don't know what's gotten into me today, but I've had the giggles like no other. Maybe it's all the sugar. A few people in my office decided that today would be "Let Them Eat Cake" day, which consisted of a handful of people making baked goodies that the rest of us freeloaders got to sample. I had a little chocolate brownie and a chocolate cupcake with homemade icing. In hindsight, this was not such a great idea.

First of all, added to my soda, I think I have enough sugar to last me the rest of the day. Said sugar has done very interesting and fun things to my nervous system. Though, admittedly, they are not Work-Safe. Up there, in the first paragraph, I mentioned my giggles. As I was explaining about "Let Them Eat Cake" day, I originally typoed, "Let Them Eat Cate." I had to stifle the giggle that would have betrayed me. Just 4 minutes ago, while attempting to post this entry, I googled "blooger" instead of "blogger." Stifle again. Luckily Google knew what I wanted. And the whole thing that started this? I was tweeting (www.twitter.com/clrumbaugh) about how I had just scratched my lip and it hurt like hell. Thankfully I caught it, but I originally typoed, "I just scratched my life." That was the worst offender of all.

I'm sure none of this is funny to you right now, but just thought I'd share (in the nature of an online journal).

In other news: I'm planning a work of fiction for the near future. I'll fill you in on the details once I have enough to share. Stay tuned...

christinA

Stop! Stalker Time!

I was just thinking: I haven't had an adventure in a long time. I mean, I went down to NC for Amy's wedding two weekends ago (which was awesome, btw), but I haven't had a REAL adventure, you know? I think I need to go to NYC to explore. I haven't done that in a LONG time.

Maybe I will go Rob Pattinson hunting, haha. I know that makes me sound like a 13-year-old girl, but it sounds like fun. But it also makes me feel like a hypocrite because I hate that he's being mobbed by teenage girls constantly, most recently while he's trying to film a new movie, Remember Me. Apparently, yesterday, he was even clipped by a taxi whilst trying to get away from a mob of said teenagers. I don't know how true that is, as I've seen conflicting reports. But I wish they would leave him alone and let him do his job. Now, I'm not going to get all Chris Crocker/Leave Britney Alone! about it, but screaming girls give me the willies. And I read something once that said Mr. Pattinson doesn't like crowds either. In fact, he's apparently so afraid of them, he fears that in mobs, there's nothing stopping someone from stabbing him. Poor kid with his paranoia.

So I'd opt for the more creepy, but less invasive form of hunting -- standing on the other side of the street, looking on with longing and affection haha... Yeah, that's LOADS better. But I still think I might do it, haha.

I'll let you know what happens.

I did it again.

Happy 100th Post to me! Yay! This is a milestone!

Though, technically, a few of the 100 remain unpublished, saved-as-draft lost entities, but we shall forgive me that. Happy 100th Attempted Post to me! That's more like it.

Anyway, like I said, I'm going to try to return to this ol' thing more frequently. Thus, I have returned.

Last post I expounded on the joy of reading. Well, I did it again. And there's no "oops" about it. I meant to... sort of. Last night I deprived myself of sleep because I was too into the book I was reading. I had meant to go to sleep at 12:30 a.m. What time did I eventually setting down into my bunk? 2:00 a.m. Whoops.

I had to. I was so close to the end, I couldn't justify sleeping until I had finished it. And I did. And it was good. Too much of a cliffhanger, as I wanted the two people in the last scene to do more than coyly flirt with each other. Like in last post, I'm still reading the Sookie Stackhouse books. Last night's conquest was Book #5. Now I'm about 20 pages into book #6, and I had to force myself to stop. Bringing books to work is a bad thing. It's distracting. I end up catching myself looking at it longingly. I sometimes allow myself 2-minute reading intervals before I resume my work again, but it's never enough to satisfy my narrative-loving heart. These books are fairly easy reads, but still. I don't think I've read this much in a long time. The success of last night's wee hour reading, make 7 books that I have finished in less than a month. This is liberating. This is what I've wanted to do since I graduated college.

Not a very lofty goal, I know. But I know so many people who are like "oh, I'm excited because now that I'm not in school I can just read! And read stuff I want to read, not just stupid school-related books!" But not a lot of people I know have actually done it. And it's taken me over a year, but I'm doing it! Woo! This is exciting.

Alright, back to the grind. More updates on my life later.

In other news: If you're on Twitter, please follow @peterfacinelli (www.twitter.com/peterfacinelli). He's trying to amass 500k followers by Friday. If he does, we get to see his friend Rob DeFranco dance to "Single Ladies" in a bikini on Hollywood Blvd. If he loses, he loses the backing of his chair for Twilight. At the time of this post, Peter has just 130 shy of 200,000. Let's do this!

Unofficial Reading Day

You know what I love, but I feel like I haven't really been able to do in years? Just read. Just spend an entire day reading. I did that on Saturday, and it was AMAZING.

Now, to be fair, I was able to accomplish this feat a few times last summer, but I was also unemployed then, so I kind of felt like I was cheating, doing something I shouldn't have been doing. Having fun when I should have been looking for a job. But now, since I have a job, the prospect of spending an entire day reading was beyond ecstasy. I woke up at about 10:30 a.m. and started reading. I read all the way to noon, then started laundry. I read off and on as I waiting for my clothes to finish getting clean, and briefly ate lunch. But then I just kept on reading. I stopped reading at 8:00 so I could go have dinner with my friend, but my God, that was a blissful day.

I was reading book 4 of the Sookie Stackhouse Southern Vampire series (you know, I'm not actually sure what the official name of the series is, haha). I could not put it down. I started it at like 2am Saturday morning, but forced myself to go to bed at 3. Then just read and read and read when I woke up. It's so freaking entertaining! For those of you who don't know, these books are about Louisiana barmaid Sookie Stackhouse. In her world, vampires are now "out of the closet" and most of them are trying to become members of mainstream society. Sookie meets one of them, Bill, and they start dating, and falling in love, and having mad passionate sex. You know, the usual, haha. Then then, trouble arises for our fair barmaiden. In every book. Of course. But they really suck you in (no pun intended). Book 4 REALLY sucked me in, and I kind of fell in love with the bad boy vampire. There's so much drama, but it's so much fun (and raunchy!). I can't wait to read more!!!

In other news: This is the most adorable blog I have ever seen. http://www.mymilktoof.blogspot.com/

I want a milk toof!

christinA

Rebirth of an Online Journal?

I've been reading through a few of my posts (again) over at LiveJournal.com. Damn, I haven't been on that site in a long time. I like to revisit every once in a while, to remind myself of what my life used to be like. A lot has changed since that last post there, made 4/22/06. That was the last post I made before permanently switching over to Blogger.

Reading through the entries, I noticed something. I was kind of depressed for a lot of those posts (though, not that that's not a trait of some of my posts here), but I've mentioned that somewhere here before. But I noticed something new today. The posts I made over at LiveJournal were so much freer than these. Maybe it's because I'm older. Maybe it's because I realized that people can actually read these. Maybe it's for a hundred reasons, but you know what? I kind of miss it.

I've been trying to do that again here, trying to use this regularly as an online journal like I did at LJ. There, I would post about anything, but here, not so much. Am I afraid of my "image" or something? Nah, I don't think so. I mean, I posted a lot of content here that is the same as what I would have posted there, except that I don't often name names here, haha. Yeah, remember that post about song headaches, back, oh gosh, like 2 years ago? Yeah, that song I was referring to is actually a person. Can you dig my metaphor? haha.

But see, I haven't written anything like that for, well, probably two years or so. Every once in a while, I'll come out with a substantial post, but I'm not free anymore. To hell with being judged. I want to try to post freely here again. Who cares that I'm 23 and angsty? I am Generation Y. That's who we are. So be it.

Alright. I make this promise almost every post, but I want to try to post here more often. I'm going to try to use it as a journal again, albeit a very public journal because I don't necessarily want it to be private. I'm weird about stuff like that. So mundane details, here I come.

Hope y'all don't mind too much :)

christinA

Little Ashes!

I really do need to keep up with this more. I've decided that with the invention of the Internet, and the subsequent invention of every single social networking site and cool new blogging site, all meant to make connecting with and keeping track of people easier, it is, in actuality, much harder. Who has time for them all?

Anyway, I totally forgot to tell you about the movie I saw 5/8. Yep, Little Ashes made its 12-screen debut across America two weeks ago, making just under $74,000 its opening weekend. Hey, that's not bad for only 12 screens. Now playing in 15 theaters across the country, it has grossed $151,390! That's terrific if you think about it: a little known indie film about mostly forgotten Spanish culture icons, Salvador Dali and Federico Garcia Lorca. Yeah, the gross total of the second week was almost half of what it was opening week, but still. That's not a bad amount of money. Okay, yeah... so it's not doing that well. I blame the lack of publicity.

I'm making a poor example of my degree here, as I have not properly researched, but I assume that the film had a relatively small budget. Perhaps there was not a lot of room there for publicity/marketing. Perhaps they thought that since now one of their stars is a tween-heartthROB, that was all they needed. I don't think they counted on that, but who knows. Still, the thing that's sad about this is that such a moving movie will go unseen by millions because there is/was not enough backing for a wider release.

Then again, that leaves more of a chance for it to accrue a cult following, as I think it deserves. The movie follows Spanish painter Salvador Dali as he enters university, where he meets poet Federico Garcia Lorca and filmmaker Luis Bunuel. There seems to be an immediate attraction between Dali and Garcia Lorca, whom Dali remarks, shyly and in awe, is "famous" for having published one of his poems. Garcia Lorca is equally impressed by Dali's artistic ability. They, along with friend Bunuel, work off of and with each others' abilities, all in the midst of a country on the brink of civil war. With this war, and its blossoming societal/fascist conflicts as the backdrop, Dali and Garcia Lorca struggle with their passion for each other. You see, Dali is torn between the passion he feels for Garcia Lorca and his strong Catholic upbringing (not to mention his fear of syphilis... oddly, I'm assuming, displayed through 2 bizarre bouts of hearing voices in his head. I'm assuming this because they never explain what the voices are). Meanwhile, the country is changing, drawing Bunuel off to Paris, where he feels he needs to escape. Eventually Dali follows, crushing Garcia Lorca, who remains behind. Periodically, they meet up, and their passion is reignited. However, now the country is in turmoil and homosexuality is a crime. You know they still love each other, but... I don't want to ruin anything for you. Go hunt down a theater playing this movie and watch it for yourself :)

This movie got mixed reviews. Some love it; others hated it. And while the story does kind of move slowly toward the beginning, it's still very engaging and entertaining. Robert Pattinson as Salvador Dali is definitely the comic relief (at one point, trying to make a socialite feel awkward, Dali announced that he "would like an enema!"). Not to mention that signature weirdo-Dali face with his crazy, upturned handlebar mustache. Pattinson pulls this off quite well. But in the more serious scenes, Pattinson and Javier Beltran (Federico Garcia Lorca) are also sweet, awkward, and most importantly, believable. I thought the love scenes would be uncomfortable to watch, especially after reports came out about how the crew would giggle as they were trying to film them, but they were actually quite passionate and consuming. Even the sex/masterbation scene with the longing stares was so intense, I may have held my breath. I won't reveal anything, but damn. Just damn.

I thought it was a great movie, and I would totally see it again. I love when a movie has the power to evoke an emotion in my cold, little heart, haha. This one definitely did. Damn, now I want to see it again. Trip to NYC anyone? :)

How To Be in NYC!!! :) :) :)

Wow, so last Friday, I had the most fun I have had in a long while. Sorry it's taken me a week to post about it (busy busy lazy). But last Friday, 4/24, was the NYC premiere of How To Be!! I have been dying to see this movie for months, and let me tell you, the whole night did not disappoint.

My friend and I purchased our tickets for the IFC Theater showing back in March, and as the day approached, I was actually getting butterfly-stomach syndrome. I had it the entire drive home from work that day. The showing didn't start until 11:55pm, but my friend and I couldn't contain ourselves, so we headed toward the train station at about 8:30. After about a 30ish minute ride, we finally got to Christopher Street, where we set about looking for the theater. Luckily it was not difficult to find. Now, I'm a huge nerd, so I gasped and my butterfly-stomach syndrome kicked in again when we came down the street and I saw the IFC marquee looming large above the sidewalk.

It's still probably only about 9:30 at this point, so I picked up our will-call tickets and we stood akwardly across the street for a while before retiring to a park down the block. At 10:45 we decided it would be a good idea to go start a line. Too bad we weren't the only people to realize this, so we joined the 30ish people already in line to get into the theater. That was the most agonizing hour ever. Why couldn't they just let us in? Instead, we stood there, the line growing behind us, and some guy who looked oddly familiar walking up and down the sidewalk with a hand held video camera. I guessed he must be part of the movie crew because who else would want video of the some 300+ people waiting to get in to see the screenings that night?

Finally they let us in! My friend and I ended up grabbing a seat 3 or 4 rows from the front. Waited a bit more, then suddenly 5 guys walked to the front and introduced themselves. There was Oliver Irving, Joe Hastings, Johnny White, Mike Williams, and Mike Pearce. Hey, hey! We get 5 guys? The website only said 3? Bonus! I secretly hoped Rob Pattinson would pop out too, but no such luck. But, hey, turns out Mike Williams was the guy with the camera. And now they have footage of me looking at them confused while talking on my cell phone. Splendid. Anway.

So they introduced the movie quickly because they had to go introduce the movie in the other theater (where an added screening was), and the movie started. It was funny, and dark, and heartbreaking, and a little disturbing at times, but it was wonderful. The three main characters, Art (Pattinson), Nikki (Pearce), and Ronny (White) are so cute and loveable in their own way, even though they're all kind of strange and absorbed in their own personal realities. It had a lot of good one-liners, but it also had a lot of scenes that made my heart want to break (Art screaming after he got slapped at the bar, anyone?).

Anyway, after the movie, they did a quick Q&A because they had to get next door and do one too. Here we learned that the story was taken in bits and pieces from a lot of different people's lives when growing up. The bit about being made out of plastic and the father moulding him into another child was Mike Pearce. We also learned that Rob is a good guy and easy to work with because he became one of the guys even though he was the outcast (most of them already knew each other from film school). They told us they would be in the lobby if we "wanted to come say hey," so my friend and I dutifully waited.

Once the guys finally came back out, everyone whipped out their HTB soundtracks. I hadn't received mine yet, which made me kind of mad/jealous haha. I didn't have anything for them to sign, but then remembered my receipt from buying the tickets online! Perfect. My friend and I stayed back for a few minutes, too nervous and giddy to think of anything clever enough to approach one of them with, but then I just took a deep breath and went up to Mike Pearce. We made plesant small talk. I can't remember now what exactly it was, but I asked how he made himself cry during one of the scenes (skateboard). He told me he's usually pretty good at crying on cue, but he just couldn't do it so Oliver slapped him across the face really hard and he teared up. True story. I didn't believe him, so he told me to ask Oliver. I promised I would. He signed my sheet and we made a bit more small talk, but there were some other girls waiting, so we said goodbye and moved on.

Next was Mike Williams and Joe Hastings. I explained to them why they were signing my receipt and Joe was like "Oh, it's not my fault! It's Mike!" haha. So Mike apologized and we joked about the CD and how I was hoping I was one of the 250 lucky people. He said he didn't know, but maybe he would just never send my CD and I could keep hoping forever. It was funny. I ended up not being on of the 250 anyway :( Sad. Anyway, so then I asked Joe (who played Dave in the movie) why he slapped Art instead of just punching him, as most men would do in a bar fight. He told me they originally thought that, but started talking, and realized that slapping a man was way more emasculating. And no one will expect it. I sure didn't; good move, fellas. Then, while talking about the slap, he and Mike revealed some very interesting information about Mr. Pattinson. I would tell you, but they swore me to secrecy. Sorry ;) haha.

Next was Johnny. He was so sweet and cute and nice. And tall. Like, damn. He doesn't seem that big in the film, but when I saw him up at the front during the Q&A and now standing next to him... I was surprised! I mean, I barely come up to the boy's shoulder. Anyway, I told him how Ronny was my favorite character, and all that. I asked him to do the Ronny Dance, and he giggled very sweetly, and told me no. He claims to not remember how to do it, how it was just one of those things that works out one time, but then you can't quite figure out how to do it again. Psh. Whatever, haha. He was still cute though. He also signed my receipt (writing that he hated Mike for not sending me my CD haha), and then it was off to Oliver.

Oliver is just as sweet and nice as the other guys. We talked a bit about the movie, and he signed my receipt. Then I remembered Mike P's story. So I asked him. "Well, usually Mike has no problem crying," he started. "But he couldn't do it, so I just went up to him and slapped him across the face to get him to tear up!" Hahaha! Oh, it was true! We laughed a bit over how Mike had already told me the story but I didn't believe him. I asked him if he slapped Rob to make him cry or look like he was crying during the movie. No. Rob used a tear-stick, hahaha. I love Hollywood secrets!

It was so much fun talking and getting to meet all these guys. They were all super nice and modest and humble and fun. My friend and I got one final group shot before we left. I've had a few people ask me if they were my friends, or comment on how we all looked like friends, and I think that's really a testament to how great and friendly these guys are. I love them, haha. I loved the movie. I loved the whole night!

So my friend and I finally left the theater at 3am! Yikes! We headed down to the train station, and between waiting for the train and then a ride, we didn't get home until 4:45am. It really was such a fantastic, albeit long, night. Most fun I've had in a while. And I very HIGHLY recommend the movie. So if you haven't seen it... do it. You owe it to yourself.

Twitter Rocks My Digital World

So, I finally joined Twitter. Some (1) of you may know, but others (1) may be unaware, so I decided to share. It's actually pretty fun. It's like Facebook, only without anything but status updates, which to be honest, was always one of my favorite parts. Seriously, I was so excited when they got rid of the mandatory "is" and you could suddenly exist in other tenses besides present progressive (wowza, how's that for a grammar flashback! haha).

So, yeah, I kept hearing about it on the news and everyone was demanding you "follow" them on Twitter. When I watched a segment on Dateline about it maybe about a month and a half ago, I decided, eh what the heck? So I spent approximately 10 days trying to come up with a great username. What did I end up with? clrumbaugh. Oh yeah. Cleverness at it's peak.

But Twitter is actually pretty nifty. It updates in realtime (apparently), so it's a good way to keep in contact/stalk people. A lot of celebrities use it actually, which is quite entertaining... and brings the level of stalkability WAY up.

I follow these celebrities:

• Rainn Wilson (of The Office, and others... remember him as Arthur from Six Feet Under. Awesome haha): www.twitter.com/rainnwilson
• Brian Baumgartner (of The Office. He plays Kevin Malone): www.twitter.com/bbbaumgartner
• Michael Ian Black (he played Phil Stubbs on Ed, and was on all of those VH1 I Heart 70s, 80s, 90s shows): www.twitter.com/michaelianblack
• Kevin Smith (of Jay & Silent Bob fame): www.twitter.com/thatkevinsmith
• The Ellen Show: www.twitter.com/theellenshow

among others :)

There are lots of companies, publications, stores, whatever on there too, which is pretty cool. I don't mean to sound so advocatey about Twitter, but it is a lot of fun.

That said, here's a shameless plug. Follow me!

Finally an Update!!

Okay, so that whole "I'm going to update this thing more often" didn't really work the way I had planned. Granted, it has only been a little over a month... but it has been a little over a month. I guess not a lot has really happened since then. Went to a fun baby shower :). Bought a dress that will hopefully be my bridesmaid's dress because it's cute and comfortable and a very pretty shade of blue. So that's all exciting.

I'm also excited that I'm now learning to crochet. I still have a difficult time reading the patterns, and I only know like 2 stiches, but I'm getting there. I even made a pair of pretty sweet-ass fingerless gloves (sans pattern, I might add, haha. But only because I was too impatient to learn to read the pattern and wanted to start creating!). I will post pictures when I have some. I will say though that my first pair were a little funky. The right one looked fine, though with this weird webbed finger effect due to making up my own pattern, but the left one looked like it had elephantitis. Whoops. Haha. With the second pair, I decided to ditch the fingers all together and just have the glove stop at the knuckles. Much better, haha. I love them. They're awesome. Next project: iPod case.

I'm also really excited about two new movies coming out soon. How to Be and Little Ashes.

How to Be (premiering April 24 & 25, IFC Theater, NYC) follows the story of this 20-something guy named Art, who, after being dumped, moves back in with his parents, and struggles to figure out exactly who he is and how to survive in a world that seems wholly unfamiliar and frightening in an existential sort of way (at least that's how I understand it). He enlists the help of a self-help guru, hiring him to follow him around give him encouragement. Art has one friend who is becoming a hermit, and another who used to be chronically uncool, but has reinvented himself. It's supposed to be a dark comedy, and Lord knows I love me some of those. Go to the website and watch the trailer!

Little Ashes (May 8, 2009, NYC) is about Salvador Dalí in his college years, pre-crazy mustache and dripping clocks. He makes friends with poet Federico García Lorca and Luis Buñuel. I'm a little hazy on the details, but Salvador and Federico apparently begin this torrid love affair in Franco's Spain, though Federico's religious beliefs in regards to their relationship "torture" him. Eventually it ends, Salvador ends up married, they drift apart, and one day reunite, just as Spain is on the verge of war. The trailer shows a lot of military/revolution scenes, so you can probably bet there's going to be some of that in there. It's probably going to be something like Brokeback Mountain, only funnier what with the crazy Salvador Dali face staring at you, 10 feet high. But really -- watch the trailer, it looks really good. I'm excited!

Okay, that's it for now! Until next time...

christinA

Top 10 Albums posted!!

It's up!! Whew... damn... it only took me a month and 10 days, but I finally posted my Top 10 Albums of 2008 list. Go check it out on Play Your Stereo Loud. Do it now. I'll wait. I know it's kind of long there aren't any pictures, but it's divided up nicely into smaller chunks to make for easy and (hopefully) interesting and informative reading. Let me know what you think. Or check out some of the music for yourself!

Happy reading! And Enjoy!

Until next time...

And 4 months later...

I really need to start writing in this thing more often. I also really need to get on it and finish my Top 10 list for 2008. It's mostly written, but I have 2 entries left. I hope to have it out to you before, say February 5th. Jeez... it's supposed to be posted within the first few days of the year, but I was way too... behind schedule for that. I'll explain more when I finally post the damn thing.

Anyway, I can't believe it's been almost 4 months since I've posted anything here. I was creating a list to help me keep track of my CDs for 2009 over at my listography page, and I was bumming around other people's pages when I discovered a few other blog sites. I was really tempted to start one on like Wordpress or something when i remembered I had this one. That I never update. Like ever, really. And I thought, well damn... why don't I just freaking re-vamp this thing, or at least resuscitate it?

Yeah, I think I'm going to try. I might not be any good at it, but I'll try... in case any of my (2) readers ever periodically check back in with me. Hear that guys, I'mma try again!!

Christina.

New Essay on Helium

I started writing an entry here back in May, but I could never quite finish it. I couldn't figure out quite what I was trying to say or exactly how to say it. But I recently wrote an essay (more of a memoir really, but oh well) at helium.com, and it sums up a lot of what I was going to talk about in my post. So, you can visit there to read it.

And feel free to read my other articles too! The more you read, the more money I earn. So far $1.08! haha

Essays: Saying goodbye

Any suggestions?

And three months later, I reappear. That seems to be the typical pattern around here. I just wish that I actually could disappear for three months at a time. The sad truth is that I have been here all along; I just haven't had anything to say. I started writing a post a couple months ago, but gave up and saved it as a draft. About a month later, I came back to it, wrote a bit more, but then gave up again. It's still there, sitting as a draft, but I don't now how to finish it. That also seems to be the typical pattern around here. I work toward something, and then I just let it go.

I've noticed that more and more often I'm forgetting things. I forget what I'm doing or the things I wanted to do. I forget to write emails and make phone calls. I forget to deposit money and pay bills. I forget that I've been wearing the same shirt since yesterday. I forget to brush my hair. I'm becoming a senile old woman and I'm still 71 days shy of my 23rd birthday.

I'm not creative anymore. I can't write. I can't bring myself to create anything new. I can't think. It's like my creativity has left my body. I don't know when it's going to come back, but I desperately wish it would. I want to be able to create something new. I want to create and sell and make some money. I want a hobby again. But every time I indulge in something that used to be a hobby, I feel guilty about it. Like I shouldn't be doing it. I shouldn't be reading; I shouldn't be writing. Aren't there more important things that I should be doing? Like finding a job?

Oh, I'm trying, but nothing has happened yet. I'm beginning to think that my years-old joke is actually true: I'm terminally unhireable. For whatever reason. No one wants me to work for them. There's something about me that employers don't like. I haven't quite figured out what it is though. I've had interviews, but they always end up with the same shit: "We agree that you are very qualifed, and we would like you to work here... but we're not able to offer you a position at this time" or something like that. You can't offer me a position? Then why the fuck did you waste your time interviewing me, huh? Someone needs to give me a job before I do something drastic.

I think another big part of the problem is that I'm in Jersey. I hate Jersey. I always have. If I could do college over again, I probably wouldn't pick Seton Hall. It sucks because I wouldn't have met the great people that I met, but maybe I'd actually have a job now. Or maybe I wouldn't have student loans. Or maybe I would be happy and things would have just turned out differently. I wish I lived in Charlotte. I want to move back almost as much as I want my creativity back. I want things to be the same as they were before, but I know that's not realistic.

I miss everyone from my previous life. There are some great people in the one I have now, but it's the life I don't want, not the people. I want my old one back, and all the people that come with it. I want to go on a vacation, but my bank account and unemployment status are seeing to it that I can't. I just want things to be different. I think the reason that I've been living in my new apartment/house for 2 months already but still haven't unpacked all my stuff is that I wish I wasn't here. I don't know what to do anymore.

And the Writing Continues!

Wow, I haven't written here in a long time. But apparently I've been writing elsewhere, haha. Yeah, I've been adding to my account over there at Helium.com. I wrote another one yesterday. It's currently #55 out of 223. Yesterday it was 43. I don't know what's going on. I thought it was pretty good, haha. Oh well, maybe in time people will come to their senses.

But meanwhile, you can judge for yourself!

What is your favorite band and why?

Enjoy! (or you can just create traffic to my page, haha)

Write on!

As you may or may not have noticed, I've been posting links to various articles around myspace and facebook. I hope you've been reading them... especially since I wrote them, haha.

That's right! I have been writing articles for a website. It's really more of an online portfolio than a blog or anything like that, but the point of the website is to attract attention to my work (perhaps even from publishers and potential employers!). That's what people around the site are saying. One guy even said that he got a job offer because of the work he had in his online portfolio. Thus, I have begun to write.

If you think you'd be interested in doing it too, let me know and I'll send you an invite link!

Oh yeah, and I do get paid, but it's not that much money. I pretty much just get some ad revenue. Nothing big. So far I've earned $0.01! Hahaha. So you should go read my articles and maybe click on links to make them think you're interested... that way I can get more money, haha.

And if you know anyone who needs some writing done... maybe direct them to my stuff! :)

Thanks and enjoy!

My 'About Me' page
1) The Island on the TV series Lost
2) Songs that pump you up in the gym
3) TV series with the best finales
4) Guide to the characters of The Office

The Worlds of Others

There's nothing more enjoyable to me than being able to lose myself in a narrative, whether in print or film. I love meeting characters and learning their troubles and being with them as they try to find their way out. Now, I've seen countless movies and television shows. Some are better at creating an escape for me than others, but there's nothing like realizing you're having a physical reaction to something someone else has created.

I've mentioned this kind of empathy before, but there is something astonishing about someone creating a fictional character who experiences something that instills you in the same emotion, albeit perhaps a little diluted, they are feeling.

This is nothing knew. We've all seen sad movies that make us cry, horror films that make us scared, and comedies that make us laugh. But I saw a movie last night that had a scene that renewed my faith in screenwriters and made me realize film writing is a fucking art form.


If you have never seen The Last King of Scotland, you should really consider renting it. It's an entertaining story of a young Scotsman who leaves his home to lend his medical help to the a small village in Uganda. While there he "saves" the new President's life and is hired as his personal physician. For some strange reason, the fact that he is his doctor automatically makes him his "closest advisor" as well. Anyway, long story short (and to maybe ruin the ending... about which I'm sorry)... things don't quite work out the way the Scotsman had planned, and he has to flee the country. For the last 20-30ish minutes, he tries to escape death and the scary scary President Amin (a.k.a. Forrest "I Never Wanna Get On His Bad Side Either" Whitaker).

Watching this scene, my heart was racing. Was he going to get away? What if they find out he escaped? What if they kill more people? What if they catch him and try to kill him (again)? WTF am I going to do if that happens?

I know that it is just a movie and nothing was going to happen to me for watching it, but that scene creates such great tension, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't breathe; I was on the verge of panic. Those final flashback moments of the movie were when I could finally breathe again and everything was OK. Before that, I was being held prisoner just like the doctor. The story, the writer made me part of it. The writing for that scene had been intense. THAT is the kind of writing that makes me forget about my own life and become trapped in the world of others.

Whether fiction or not, being able to feel the same emotion is the only way to truly understand someone else. And the writers who can successfully pull this off are masters of character, of people. And these scenes should be noted by us all. Because knowing people is the best way, the only way to really exist (and maybe make a difference) in this world.


Sorry if this was kind of heavy, but you know how it is sometimes...

Will Work for Food... and a Reasonable Salary

Damn, it has been so long since I've written anything here. The last thing I wrote wasn't even a real post. It was a post telling you to check out another post on another blog. I guess I haven't really been taking time to stop and think about my life. At least not long enough or in convenient enough places to put any words down into this word document.

I'm about to turn into an unemployed twenty-something college graduate, and I have no idea what I'm going to do. Unfortunately, the procrastinator in me is telling me that it's fine... I'll be able to find something... don't worry so much. But then the anal-retentive worrier in me is panicking. I, of course, have been siding mostly with the procrastinator. It's what I do best.

I have to find a job. I have been looking, but I haven't really applied anywhere. In my industry, I can pretty much work from anywhere. This means that I can pretty much take any job I find or am offered. Problem is, I'm afraid to apply to just any job because I'm afraid of where I will be living. I don't want to live in fucking Idaho. I don't really want to live in the Midwest. I've been considering this, and I think that if I lived in the middle of the country I would go crazy. The only logical explanation I can think of is that I would fee claustrophobic.

I know what you're thinking. How is that logical? Well, if I live on a coast, East or West, then at least I have the ocean to escape to. If I lived in a landlocked state, then I'd have only more land to escape to. I know that sounds kind of silly, but it's significant to me. I want to stay on the East coast, but if I find a good job that's going to pay me an assload of money, then I will move to the West. I don't know. I'd rather stay over here.

But still, where will I live. I suppose I should have a job before I get an apartment as the little money I have will probably go fast. But what job am I going to have? Where is my job going to be? Should I move to a place I want to live, or try to find a job somewhere first? There are so many opportunities in NYC, but it's so expensive to live around here. I would be so comfortable living in Charlotte, but where would I work? Hell, I'll move to Georgia... but what will I do?

Sometimes the amount of logistics I have to contemplate make me crazy. I don't know what to do with myself anymore.

Any suggestions?

Top 10 Albums Posted!

Dear Faithful Readers,

Every year I compile my list of the top 10 albums I have purchased or otherwise aquired over the past year. And it is my pleasure to announce that my Top 10 (Purchased or Otherwise Acquired) Albums of 2007 is up on Play Your Stereo Loud.

I'm sorry it's long, but hopefully you'll read it, agree/disagree with it and maybe discuss it there. And maybe, just maybe you'll be enticed to try out some music for yourself.

Happy reading!

Love,
Christina

Secrets of Others...

I know I haven't updated in a long time, and I know I'm due for one (and it may be long), but I don't feel like writing one. Instead I share with you a postcard I just saw on PostSecret.com. Occasionally I'll find one that I identify with, or one that just has so much emotion I feel like crying. But I just found one so much more emotional than any other secret I remember seeing on this site or in the books. It's beautiful and devestating, and almost made me vomit with dispair. I want to cry: